When was the last time you invited yourself to pause?
The internet reliably informs me that today is World Poetry Day, so I’ve captured the impetus for this article in a short verse.
Pause.
Connecting to audio…
Joining the competition for airtime
You’re on mute.
Each silence announced
When did you last stop
Your tumbling thoughts mid-sentence?
Each breath an opportunity
For others to interject
This frantic scramble
Disconnects.
This past week, my brain has been fizzy with possibilities like a glass of freshly poured lemonade and I have been really struggling to focus. I haven’t really had time to think, which feels faintly ridiculous to say, but the last 6 months of studying, working, developing, reflecting, pitching, building… all this human doing hasn’t left much space for me to exist as a human being. Not least because the world and her husband have discovered that meetings don’t need physical proximity — what unbridled joy that we can instead bring an hour of dull agenda into our homes!
On a personal note, the last 6 months of frenetic activity was finally punctuated by a gentle comma, a week off to sit around, do some walking, watch some trashy tv, eat, relax. Total bliss. But the unexpected visitor that arose from this pause? Future me is clamouring for attention and if I’m not careful, could easily distract me from the very real deadlines and current commitments I need to be absolutely present for in the immediate. All these ideas and the possible futures available after I graduate this summer, left simmering, are coming to the boil.
I need to wait for the foamy bubbles to settle. But as it turns out, waiting is not something I’m very good at. As a result, I have noticed this personal narrative creeping into my headspace during coaching sessions, which is certainly not good for my clients during sessions, where my very role is to be present and listen attentively. It’s a good job then that I have had not one but three amazing women in the last 7 days inviting me to pause.
First, Emma Donaldson-Fielder who is leading a small group of us through Relational Mindfulness for Coaching, which I’m finding enormously nourishing and powerful. Building on the work of Gregory Kramer’s Insight Dialogue, this delightful invitation to bring present moment awareness into dyadic communication has been quite the tonic — and revelatory for my coaching practice to boot.
Next, I was extremely fortunate to attend a workshop with Kim Morgan from Barefoot Coaching who generously gave her time, energy and experience to Queen Bee Coaching — A Pankhurst Trust Service for our monthly CPD, this time looking at loss, change, uncertainty and grief in coaching. I was particularly struck by the role of listener in supporting those dealing with loss, and how the simple act of stopping our own need to comfort and leaning in to discomfort (and silence) could be extraordinarily effective.
Finally, the delightful Auriel Majumdar held space for a group of us who have come together with The How, and this final invitation to pause and reflect on our desires for the coming Spring left me longing for sun-braised days at the allotment, arms outstretched welcoming the heat of the day.
Each women’s words have been sitting with me, gently coddling my busy brain. In setting an intention for myself to pause for five minutes at the start of each day to check in with my energy and my needs, I’d like to offer a reminder to press pause for anyone who might need it. I’ll leave you with some of Emma’s powerful words.
